Sunday 28 August 2011

Disappointment on a row

Don’t ask me about that Friday. It was an unfulfilling night with lots of anticipation and expectation but no goods to be delivered.

It’s officially a dry spell. Where exactly do eligible single guys hang out?

I’ve tried bookstores, cafes, clubs, pubs, sports shops and even supermarkets. But the only glimpse of any potential species is hanging off the arms of other creatures. I remember a particular incident when I was making eyes at A-Cute-One across the shelves of the now defunct Borders. We soon ended up chatting about Books, Weather and Holidays. Just as I was about to gather my courage and ask him for his number, his Significant-Other swopped over, dangled her big-ass-proposal ring as a shield between us, and said Hi.

Well, truth is, she seemed like a nice lady.

I, of course, graciously shook and hand, commented what a nice couple they made and furiously wishing I was the one with the ring instead.

Oh, sour grapes.

Engaged and married men (especially the cute ones) should never be allowed to speak to single women. Spare us the disappointment please.



Not loving,
Esther Nook



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Monday 15 August 2011

On the prowl


I am going on a prowl this coming Friday night with my girlfriends F and S.

Wish me luck. Or rather, wish the men luck.








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Wednesday 10 August 2011

Chardonnay's thoughts

As I sat here by my window sill, sipping my glass of Chardonnay, I couldn’t help but to dip into a momentary lapse of melancholy.

Loneliness is over-rated. It is alright to be alone and single in this big, crowded city. I should not be afraid and be so desperate to look for love...right?

This whole blog started as a grand idea to document my journey to find love. And when I do find him (or her – well, never say never), I can show him/her this journal and how I have come to complete the circle with him/her.

Romantic, ain’t it?

Apparently not so. With the list of endless whining, I realized I have become someone whom the society is terrified of.



The crazy old single woman.



So cheers to all, my family, my friends and total strangers who live on voyeurism in this modern world (I am one of them). May we all find love tonight.




Drunk,
Esther Nook



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Sunday 7 August 2011

Second Date - Captain America

The American man…strong, masculine and eager to please. What he lacks in size, he makes up for it in valor. My Captain America….

Date 2

Nationality: American

Looks: Hunky…towering….My heart literally skipped a beat when he walks through the door

Personality: Gregarious and enjoys his food. He is a man with lots of sensitive spots. He even did magic trick in an attempt (albeit a weak one) to humor me.

Age: 38

Occupation: Marine life biologist (Can anyone have a more exotic job than this?)

Looking for: A life-partner

Performance in bed: Certainly knows how and where to please. However the verdict is, size does matter

Result: Size does matter. Sadly.



NEXT PLEASE.



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Thursday 28 July 2011

Monday 25 July 2011

First Date

Date 1

Nationality: Mixed (Chinese + Indian)

Looks: Bald (He said it’s his fashion statement. These days you really can’t tell if its really that or he’s actually follically challenged)

Personality: Assertive, Funny & probably an Alpha-Male

Age: 36

Occupation: Lecturer

Looking for: A woman to stimulate both his heads

Performance in bed: Didn’t find out. We didn’t go beyond dinner.

Result: He thinks I have shifty eyes and that to him indicated lack of sincerity. In my defense, I didn’t know which head to look at.


NEXT PLEASE.



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Thursday 21 July 2011

Battle Armour

This is my trustworthy first-date dress.

A red sweetheart neckline to barely show my cleavage as I leaned over to grab that salt over his side, a full skirt that graces the top of my knees and a black belt to cinch my waist.

My first-date dress. Or what I’ll prefer to really call it – My Battle Armour.



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Monday 18 July 2011

26 words

My entire office was shaken by my screams this morning.

I swear I wasn’t exaggerating. My joy exploded inside me and I couldn’t hold it in. This is even better than the couple who won 100 million pounds. SOMEONE REPLIED TO MY ONLINE PROFILE!!!

Bring out the wedding kit! Where should I hold my wedding dinner?! Oh dear! I need to lose weight fast! I should pick up names for our children now! Is my current savings enough for their tertiary education?

Wait…is that my biological clock or my desperado-self speaking? More like my burning loins.

ANYWAY, MOVING ON, here’s the perfect 26 words to brighten up the first day of the rest of my life. I am soooooo in love….


Hi, read your profile.

Hope we can make a couple...

BTW, Im not a chatter box, but I can talk about any subject under the sky.


Hope we can make a couple….He’s thinking along the same lines as me… Awww…..Is this love or what…?


Love,
Esther Nook – smitten by a 26-word email



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Saturday 16 July 2011

10 days and counting...

It’s been 10 days since I’ve posted my online dating profile and so far, nothing.

And I thought my profile photo of a big pair of granny’s briefs will be a natural ice-breaker.

I was so wrong. I should have put a photo of a G-string.



Or maybe Angelina Jolie.



And so, I keep on waiting.


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Wednesday 6 July 2011

My First Date

I was only 14 and he was 15. He was a senior in my school - a geek who wore spectacles. This was the time when geeks are not ruling the world yet. There’s nothing cool about him. But I saw his pair of beautiful eyes behind those thick spectacles.

I received a call from him one day wanting to be friends. He had a funny voice and sounded like Donald Duck. Maybe it was the Disney-fetish but I was actually interested. He said he was attracted to me at the very first sight.

Of course I didn’t believe him. I was a skinny, plain girl then. (how I've actually put on a gazillion pounds over 13 years, I'll never understand)

Anyway, we went out for awhile. I gave him my first kiss on a double-decker bus. It was a rainy day and the kiss was wet and warm. I have better kisses as I grow up but somehow, you will never forget your first.

We broke off a few months later as he thought I was too wilful. The Bitch in me was being born then. I couldn’t get over him and badgered him to return. He agreed but only in exchange for the premature abortion of the Bitch-in-me. I agreed to change and we got back again. A few months later, he stopped calling suddenly. No action. No word. No closure. This Geek gave birth to the darker side of me.

It took me a year to get over him. After which, I always have a thing for geeks in spectacles. With my virginity intact, my 15-year-old self roamed the world swearing off any guys who hated the Bitch in me. Love me, love my Bitch.


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