Tuesday 28 June 2011

Online/Offline

The Web 2.0 world scares me. Anyone and everyone can know anything and everything from anywhere and everywhere.

My CPU was emitting a long beeping sound this morning. What the hell was that, I asked myself. I decided to ask Mr Google instead. Mr Google showed me to the right G-spot (Google-spot) and apparently, there’s something wrong with my RAM. I Wikipedia-ed the letters “R-A-M” and Wikihow-ed the procedures to tear open my CPU. After I have dissembled and re-assembled everything, I realized I have the book “DUMMIES GUIDE TO COMPUTER MEMORY UPGRADE” sitting on my bookshelf. The Internet wins at the end of the day. Walkover. No Contest. And that’s how Borders became bankrupt.

My whole dating life lies on the web with her legs wide open too. I’m on online dating websites, I stalk dates on Facebook and Twitter pages and I’ve flirted amorously online more than I have shared the same breathing space with men. I think I’ve lost touch on how to actually meet them face-to face.

What do I do when there’s an awkward silence? I can’t put up smiley face icons. I cannot escape and walk away from the screen. I cannot make funny faces at him, thinking he is the biggest jerk in the world but yet replying back sweetly. Crap. That man will be a real-life body sitting in front of me.

The Internet is my escape. But if I really want to find my next true love, I have to put myself out there. It’s time to update my online dating profile and plan for a series of dates. To quote Alfred Nobel, “If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good, I am satisfied”, for me, if I meet a thousand jerks and only one turns out to be perfect, I am married.

Watch out World. Plain Old Jane is coming back.


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